Category: leap of faith

You are Invited: My Edgewalker Journey #11 – A Life Well Lived

My maternal Grandmother Nilda Rose was one of the most influential people in my life.  Besides being the matriarch of our family she was an incredible woman of strength, integrity, courage and wisdom. Loving, caring and sharing were the words she lived by and instilled in our family. She and my grandfather George who died many years earlier were happily married for 55 years. Their love was an inspiration. Coming from a big extended Italian New York family of entrepreneurs and immigrants was a key ingredient that ignited the courage I needed to take the leap of faith on my transformational Edgewalker Journey. I was blessed to be a part of Nilda and George’s legacy as their first grandchild. It gave me the strength to follow my own path.

I always felt loved unconditionally by my Grandmother. I was seen, heard and met by her. She encouraged me to know my worth as it related to everything in my life – men, money, work, my body, my uniqueness, heart and soul. She was an advocate of strong women. Her influence over her 3 daughters, granddaughters and great granddaughters (as well as the men in her lineage) left a profound mark on all of us.

Nilda Rose was 95 years old in the Summer of 2007 when I was on the Big Island. She was living in her home in Westchester County, New York outside of Manhattan where I grew up. Her mind was sharp, she still felt like 35 years old on the inside, yet her body was failing. She was tired.

One day in July she called me and shared that she felt complete with her life, yet she was concerned about leaving her family and conflicted about dying. My Grandmother was a deeply spiritual woman and had faith, so she was not afraid of dying, just of leaving. I reassured her that because of her Presence in our lives we were touched forever by her generosity, loving, caring and sharing. She had encouraged us to be a close family which we are to this day, down to 4 generations! It was as if she was looking for permission to transition to her eternal home. I told her it was OK to let go, that I loved her and thanked her for priceless contribution to my life. She could let go and be at peace if she chose.

A few days later I was sleeping with my friend Jim Channon in his bedroom.  At 11 pm Hawaii time his mosquito net which was secured on a frame over his bed, fell on us out of nowhere and woke us up startled. It was strange as he mentioned he had never had that happen in all the years he had it over his bed.  We went back to sleep and I was awoken early the next morning July 12th, 2007  from a call from  my Mom in New York. My Grandmother has passed away at 5 am New York time which was 11 pm the night before in Hawaii. Jim and I felt it was my Grandmother who had knocked the mosquito net off it’s frame. I knew it was her communicating with me and saying goodbye.

I felt sad and grief over her loss. I also experienced  peace and gratitude as I celebrated the incredible life of this amazing woman. She was free. I still miss her to this day, over ten years later. However, the deep bond and connection with my Grandmother and the wisdom she shared, no matter where I travel, is at home within my heart forever. I am a better woman and individual because of her. Nilda had a life well lived!

**Lessons from my Grandmother Nilda:

* “This isn’t money this is love.” (She would write this on a post it note and put it on every bill and check she gave us!)

*Know your worth, especially as a woman! If you don’t no one else will. (She helped me to raise my fees in my business!)

*Always have a man love you a little bit more. In other words, when you respect and value yourself first you will attract a man who will do the same.  Don’t settle for less!

*Family is wealth. Loving, caring, sharing. (When she looked at the generations of her family spending time together she would say, “I am a billionaire.”) 

 

My Edgewalker Journey #10 – Walking Between Worlds

Living in Hawi on the northern most point of the Big Island of Hawaii was beautiful and isolated. House sitting for friends on their 12 acre sanctuary was heaven on earth. I was deeply grateful to be surrounded by tropical fruit orchards and abundant flowering plants and trees, coy ponds with crystals and lotus flowers, egrets flying, cows and horses in the fields, and breathtaking views of Maui and the Pacific Ocean in the distance. My favorite thing was gazing at the infinite stars in the dark night sky. I felt at one and connected to the Universe as if I were walking between the worlds. At times I also experienced isolation, aloneness and felt small.  My so called problems and life seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like I was an ant invisible in an ant hill. It was a valuable yet often uncomfortable perspective that threatens the ego and invites the spirit at the same time.

The Hawaiian Islands are the most isolated place on Earth. The closest land is about 2500 miles in any direction. It can feel like heaven or hell on earth, depending on your perspective. I loved the peace and quiet, beautiful nature, expansive, nurturing energy of the land and fresh air, and being away from my life on the mainland. However, the longer I was there the more I was BEING in the quiet and not DOING and staying busy. I was reminded of how much I was driven to distraction my entire life. My New York, type A personality and east coast upbringing was still running me even though I was thousands of miles away in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The expression, “You can take the girl out of NY but you cannot take the NY out of the girl” applied here. You can be in the most beautiful, peaceful and remote place in the world, yet the peace and quiet becomes deafening and uncomfortable when the voices of self-judgement, doubt, old stories and the ego mind start to chatter. The “monkey mind” as they call it in Buddhism,  become very loud. All the issues, fears, limitations and insecurities I was running away from caught up with me on that beautiful sanctuary on the Big Island. I was faced with myself, the self I did not like to BE with, feel, acknowledge.

I sought heaven, yet was still living on Earth. As an Edgewalker I understand that life has many dimensions and WALKING BETWEEN WORLDS integrates body, mind and spirit. My sense of belonging and interconnectedness with nature, the stars and greater Universe felt easy. However I also was living in a physical body with it’s challenges, human experiences and emotions, fears and concerns.  Looking back the support I had from friends and neighbors including Jim Channon, and so much time alone provided me the much needed perspective to stop, get grounded, listen, feel and heal.  It was as if I was having an identity crises, letting go of my old world and paradigm, yet not yet knowing where my new life and Source of Self would come from. Little did I know that my authentic self was within me waiting to be revealed. I had been searching all my life for the very thing that had been within me from birth and beyond, my Divinity, my spiritual heart, my soul. I began peeling away the layers as the journey of transformation continued.

**Lessons:

*No matter where you go there you are. You cannot run from yourself.

*Give space and time to the parts of you that want to be seen, heard, expressed.  You are worthy and deserving of your love, compassion, patience and nurturing. Watch, observe, breathe and allow. As you reclaim your wholeness you reclaim your life.

*Paradise is an inside job. We can create heaven on earth when we find peace and acceptance within ourselves first.

 

 

 

My Edgewalker Journey #9 – The Circle of Life – In Memory of Jim

JIM CHANNON was a key reason I decided to fly from Kauai back to the Big Island of Hawaii in June 2007.  In addition to being “Family of Choice” and “Soul Tribe”, Jim and I had a big love affair and deep friendship that evolved over time and touched my heart and soul forever. He was instrumental in guiding me to stop running, shift my focus, and expand the awareness of my true nature. His encouraged me to connect with and trust my intuitive spiritual guidance. In doing so I found the courage to take an evolutionary leap of faith. I committed to let go of my old life, old identity, and chose the “Edgewalker” path of Integrity, a journey of discovery that never ends, an adventure of the Spirit. This choice aligned me with my authentic path and Higher truth and changed my life forever. I never looked back.

Jim called me SOLARA since I loved the sun and needed the light for my soul and healing. He helped me deepen my relationship to my Divinity.  A true Edgewalker himself, Jim Walked Between Worlds. I came to deeply understand the importance of integrating Heaven & Earth – to bring heart, soul and higher consciousness to everyday life and work. As a result I am more available to facilitate and coach my clients to connect with their Divinity and “life force living” as he called it – to integrate their personal, professional and spiritual growth.

Jim and I felt “met” in our relationship. We “got” one another beyond words.  It is a gift to be known, understood, to be safe with another on the planet. The mirror and recognition of soul connection by another helps to ignite your own soul purpose and growth. We are at home with them and more importantly at home with ourselves. Jim’s wisdom I most remember is him telling me that MY BEING IS ENOUGH. I don’t have to DO in order to get love or anything for that matter. He said that one day I would open my heart, hold it in my hands, share it with others and that would be enough. My Presence, energy, light and love would touch and heal others without needing to say a word.  A way of being I allow and aspire to daily.

Life comes full circle as I write this blog. It is present time, October 2017.  I have been delaying writing my blog for the past month about this next period in my Edgewalker Journey.  The words would not come, the timing felt wrong. I have been wanting to communicate and reconnect with you my readers sooner.  Now I know why I waited.

This excerpt is more than a story about my life and love with Jim Channon. It is in memory of him as he passed away suddenly on September 10th, 2017 at home on his beautiful land “Artesia” in Hawi on the Big Island. He and I spent much of our time together on the Big Island on his property, a true paradise on earth, surrounded by abundant nature and beauty. The synchronicity and Divine timing of his death and timing of this blog excerpt is not an accident.

The sadness and grief I have been experiencing the past weeks have reminded me of that instrumental time in my life, who I was, how I have journeyed and transformed, and the memories of all Jim and I have shared. Even though our love affair shifted after that first year we have remained friends over the past 10 years.  As much as I know he is now in his galactic home that he spoke of often, I feel him close. I understand that even though relationships may change form and people die, soul and heart connections are eternal.

Our memories and the difference he made in my life ease some of my grief over his loss.  It also expands my gratitude for all we were to one another, the abundant wisdom he contributed to my life, and the preciousness of each fragile moment we have on this earth. Though we have not spoken or visited as much these past years due to our lives changing we were always connected. I never realized how much he was an anchor in my world. I was blessed to know him. It seems strange that Jim Channon is no longer here on Earth.  He will be missed by all who knew and loved him, yet his Spirit, his Presence, from the other side, to his beloved Planet is with us always.

Aloha, Mahalo and God Speed dear friend.

** Lessons from Jim Channon:

*Live your life genuinely. Be generous and give the best of yourself. Jim lived the most fulfilled life yet also tested his boundaries to help others grow and think out of the box to question, create, expand, live passionately.

*Edgewalker’s revel in play, laughter, joy. Jim encouraged others to fully enjoy the physical and meta-physical planes. Jim kept his Spirit alive, engaged. Don’t take yourself or other’s too seriously. 

*A mutual friend shared that she had been reflecting on how Jim had once told her, with absolute peace and happiness, that he had recently cleaned up all his relationships – that he had found closure with those that he had conflict with through his life and there were no loose ends.  Clean up your relationships, your loose ends now.  We don’t know how much time we have. Forgive, make peace. LOVE!

*Leave the world, your relationships, your life, better than you found it. Jim had a better understanding of the world, more than so many.  He left a powerful and invaluable legacy. Leave a legacy you are worthy of. Share your ideas, heart, gifts. Carpe Diem, life is now! 

*Be of service whether locally, nationally or globally. What are you interests, talents, gifts? There is only one of you in all of time. The world needs your unique contribution now more than ever. We can choose to create paradise on earth!

 

 

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