Posts tagged: authenticity

My Edgewalker Journey #10 – Walking Between Worlds

Living in Hawi on the northern most point of the Big Island of Hawaii was beautiful and isolated. House sitting for friends on their 12 acre sanctuary was heaven on earth. I was deeply grateful to be surrounded by tropical fruit orchards and abundant flowering plants and trees, coy ponds with crystals and lotus flowers, egrets flying, cows and horses in the fields, and breathtaking views of Maui and the Pacific Ocean in the distance. My favorite thing was gazing at the infinite stars in the dark night sky. I felt at one and connected to the Universe as if I were walking between the worlds. At times I also experienced isolation, aloneness and felt small.  My so called problems and life seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like I was an ant invisible in an ant hill. It was a valuable yet often uncomfortable perspective that threatens the ego and invites the spirit at the same time.

The Hawaiian Islands are the most isolated place on Earth. The closest land is about 2500 miles in any direction. It can feel like heaven or hell on earth, depending on your perspective. I loved the peace and quiet, beautiful nature, expansive, nurturing energy of the land and fresh air, and being away from my life on the mainland. However, the longer I was there the more I was BEING in the quiet and not DOING and staying busy. I was reminded of how much I was driven to distraction my entire life. My New York, type A personality and east coast upbringing was still running me even though I was thousands of miles away in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The expression, “You can take the girl out of NY but you cannot take the NY out of the girl” applied here. You can be in the most beautiful, peaceful and remote place in the world, yet the peace and quiet becomes deafening and uncomfortable when the voices of self-judgement, doubt, old stories and the ego mind start to chatter. The “monkey mind” as they call it in Buddhism,  become very loud. All the issues, fears, limitations and insecurities I was running away from caught up with me on that beautiful sanctuary on the Big Island. I was faced with myself, the self I did not like to BE with, feel, acknowledge.

I sought heaven, yet was still living on Earth. As an Edgewalker I understand that life has many dimensions and WALKING BETWEEN WORLDS integrates body, mind and spirit. My sense of belonging and interconnectedness with nature, the stars and greater Universe felt easy. However I also was living in a physical body with it’s challenges, human experiences and emotions, fears and concerns.  Looking back the support I had from friends and neighbors including Jim Channon, and so much time alone provided me the much needed perspective to stop, get grounded, listen, feel and heal.  It was as if I was having an identity crises, letting go of my old world and paradigm, yet not yet knowing where my new life and Source of Self would come from. Little did I know that my authentic self was within me waiting to be revealed. I had been searching all my life for the very thing that had been within me from birth and beyond, my Divinity, my spiritual heart, my soul. I began peeling away the layers as the journey of transformation continued.

**Lessons:

*No matter where you go there you are. You cannot run from yourself.

*Give space and time to the parts of you that want to be seen, heard, expressed.  You are worthy and deserving of your love, compassion, patience and nurturing. Watch, observe, breathe and allow. As you reclaim your wholeness you reclaim your life.

*Paradise is an inside job. We can create heaven on earth when we find peace and acceptance within ourselves first.

 

 

 

My Edgewalker Journey #9 – The Circle of Life – In Memory of Jim

JIM CHANNON was a key reason I decided to fly from Kauai back to the Big Island of Hawaii in June 2007.  In addition to being “Family of Choice” and “Soul Tribe”, Jim and I had a big love affair and deep friendship that evolved over time and touched my heart and soul forever. He was instrumental in guiding me to stop running, shift my focus, and expand the awareness of my true nature. His encouraged me to connect with and trust my intuitive spiritual guidance. In doing so I found the courage to take an evolutionary leap of faith. I committed to let go of my old life, old identity, and chose the “Edgewalker” path of Integrity, a journey of discovery that never ends, an adventure of the Spirit. This choice aligned me with my authentic path and Higher truth and changed my life forever. I never looked back.

Jim called me SOLARA since I loved the sun and needed the light for my soul and healing. He helped me deepen my relationship to my Divinity.  A true Edgewalker himself, Jim Walked Between Worlds. I came to deeply understand the importance of integrating Heaven & Earth – to bring heart, soul and higher consciousness to everyday life and work. As a result I am more available to facilitate and coach my clients to connect with their Divinity and “life force living” as he called it – to integrate their personal, professional and spiritual growth.

Jim and I felt “met” in our relationship. We “got” one another beyond words.  It is a gift to be known, understood, to be safe with another on the planet. The mirror and recognition of soul connection by another helps to ignite your own soul purpose and growth. We are at home with them and more importantly at home with ourselves. Jim’s wisdom I most remember is him telling me that MY BEING IS ENOUGH. I don’t have to DO in order to get love or anything for that matter. He said that one day I would open my heart, hold it in my hands, share it with others and that would be enough. My Presence, energy, light and love would touch and heal others without needing to say a word.  A way of being I allow and aspire to daily.

Life comes full circle as I write this blog. It is present time, October 2017.  I have been delaying writing my blog for the past month about this next period in my Edgewalker Journey.  The words would not come, the timing felt wrong. I have been wanting to communicate and reconnect with you my readers sooner.  Now I know why I waited.

This excerpt is more than a story about my life and love with Jim Channon. It is in memory of him as he passed away suddenly on September 10th, 2017 at home on his beautiful land “Artesia” in Hawi on the Big Island. He and I spent much of our time together on the Big Island on his property, a true paradise on earth, surrounded by abundant nature and beauty. The synchronicity and Divine timing of his death and timing of this blog excerpt is not an accident.

The sadness and grief I have been experiencing the past weeks have reminded me of that instrumental time in my life, who I was, how I have journeyed and transformed, and the memories of all Jim and I have shared. Even though our love affair shifted after that first year we have remained friends over the past 10 years.  As much as I know he is now in his galactic home that he spoke of often, I feel him close. I understand that even though relationships may change form and people die, soul and heart connections are eternal.

Our memories and the difference he made in my life ease some of my grief over his loss.  It also expands my gratitude for all we were to one another, the abundant wisdom he contributed to my life, and the preciousness of each fragile moment we have on this earth. Though we have not spoken or visited as much these past years due to our lives changing we were always connected. I never realized how much he was an anchor in my world. I was blessed to know him. It seems strange that Jim Channon is no longer here on Earth.  He will be missed by all who knew and loved him, yet his Spirit, his Presence, from the other side, to his beloved Planet is with us always.

Aloha, Mahalo and God Speed dear friend.

** Lessons from Jim Channon:

*Live your life genuinely. Be generous and give the best of yourself. Jim lived the most fulfilled life yet also tested his boundaries to help others grow and think out of the box to question, create, expand, live passionately.

*Edgewalker’s revel in play, laughter, joy. Jim encouraged others to fully enjoy the physical and meta-physical planes. Jim kept his Spirit alive, engaged. Don’t take yourself or other’s too seriously. 

*A mutual friend shared that she had been reflecting on how Jim had once told her, with absolute peace and happiness, that he had recently cleaned up all his relationships – that he had found closure with those that he had conflict with through his life and there were no loose ends.  Clean up your relationships, your loose ends now.  We don’t know how much time we have. Forgive, make peace. LOVE!

*Leave the world, your relationships, your life, better than you found it. Jim had a better understanding of the world, more than so many.  He left a powerful and invaluable legacy. Leave a legacy you are worthy of. Share your ideas, heart, gifts. Carpe Diem, life is now! 

*Be of service whether locally, nationally or globally. What are you interests, talents, gifts? There is only one of you in all of time. The world needs your unique contribution now more than ever. We can choose to create paradise on earth!

 

 

Walking on the Leading Edge #8- A Journey of Power, Passion & Peace

The Big Island of Hawaii is one of the few places in the world where I want to kiss the ground when I get off the airplane. I feel at home there. I am embraced, welcomed and resonate with the energy. I love the wild and diverse beauty and how big it is! All of the other Hawaiians islands can fit into the Big Island.  Though I have never lived there full time the weeks and months I did spend in the Summer and Fall of 2007 changed my life. My focus, direction and path shifted dramatically due to events and the deeper healing and revelations that occurred on the Big Island.

I was first called to the Big Island. I had to swim with the dolphins. Little did I know the call was more about dying to my old life and identity to uncover, discover and connect more with my authentic self.  The locals say that “Hawaii either embraces you or chews you up and spits you out.” The Hawaiian islands have embraced me since the first day of my arrival. Some of  this embrace had to do with my willingness to transform, release my old limiting beliefs, conditioned behaviors and worn out relationship patterns. The new space created a greater opening for my long buried Divine Essence to express. I have known many individuals who could not stay on Hawaii for more than a couple of weeks as it was too difficult and intense emotionally resulting in broken relationships, financial troubles, etc. I ended up staying for a couple of months and then kept coming back again and again over the next decade.  My intense Scorpio nature, commitment to my spiritual growth and desire to be free from my story and ego persona gave me the courage and stickability to stay in this raw and beautiful paradise. Being a runner all my life I finally stopped and faced myself. Over time like a ball of twine unravelling I discovered my deeper Truth & Integrity.

The Hawaiian legend of Pele, the Goddess of Fire, is alive on the Big Island of Hawaii and supported this transformational shift as did the powerful energy of Kilauea volcano that is active at Volcano National Park.  Pele’s story explains that “Like a volcano’s lava that creates new land, the goddess Pele reminds us that, even fiery eruptions and emotional upheavals are followed by new life and change. As an archetype Pele is a passionate and creative force that transforms and rebuilds the landscapes of our lives.”

A perfect explanation and metaphor for my life. In addition my Edgewalker qualities of passion & playfulness were essential as I navigated through this adventurous time of fiery, passionate transformation, powerful change and experiencing a more centered and peaceful existence. House and dog sitting by myself at my friend’s beautiful 12 acre Kohala Sanctuary in Hawi, the northern most point of the Big Island, was the perfect setting for this chapter in the school called my life!

**Lesson from Pele, Hawaiian Goddess of Fire (worth repeating):

Like a volcano’s lava that creates new land, the goddess Pele reminds us that, even fiery eruptions and emotional upheavals are followed by new life and change. As an archetype Pele is a passionate and creative force that transforms and rebuilds the landscapes of our lives.”

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